Goodbye or Hello

My biggest dream, when I was a little girl, was to have a house full of kids. I had read the book “Cheaper By the Dozen” and felt a dozen sounded about right. I have always wanted to be a mom. Needless to say, the day I discovered I was carrying my first baby, I was in love.  My dream was coming true.

Thursday of this week we leave to take that young man, who I swear just yesterday I held in my arms and rocked to sleep, to college. He chose a college that Google says is “6 hours and 31 minutes away”, however, we have yet to make it in that time. It goes without saying, I am having a hard time saying, “Goodbye”. This past week has been all about saying goodbye for him. Goodbye to friends. Goodbye to grandparents.  Goodbye to church family. Right now, he and his brother are playing Fortnite with their friends they went to preschool with. (It is amazing to me these four boys are still friends after all these years.) And yet, this is another goodbye.

Today I was scrolling through my Facebook feed when I came across a friend’s post where she had shared this link:

https://bridgechristian.wordpress.com/2016/07/05/putting-the-basket-in-the-water-trusting-god-in-the-next-phase-of-your-childs-life/

(You really need to take a minute to read this! It’s fabulous!) Talk about perfect timing.

As I was reading this, I realized I am reacting in fear instead of living in faith. I need to put Max in the water “so that God can draw him from the water for His great purpose”.  Talk about changing my perspective. So this blog post is my line in the sand. From this moment on, I refuse to listen to the lies of the enemy and live in fear. Lies and fear are not from God. Instead, I will put my faith and trust in my Heavenly Father who loves Max even more than I do. He has a perfect plan for him. I just have to put Max in the car, drive him to Nashville, and wait for God to draw him out.

Goodbye, Fear.

Hello, Faith.

 

Serve

I came back to my “little house” for lunch. Being able to leave school and eat lunch is a simple gift that I treasure. Deciding to check my email while I ate, I opened up Chrome and signed into my email account. Thirty emails waiting in my inbox. I quickly separated the trash from what needed to be read. I saved my K-LOVE Verse of the Day to read before I deleted it.  Having deleted what didn’t need to be read, I was left with five emails that needed my attention. I clicked on K-LOVE’s Verse of the Day to begin.

 

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and give his life as a ransom for many.

Matthew 20:28

 

The words gave me pause. The Holy Spirit whispered, “Who have you served today, Erin?”

“Uhhh…,” I stopped and thought. “I made cookies for the teachers I coached this morning.  Does that count as serving?” I asked.

No response.

“Hmm…probably not what God was thinking about when He had Matthew pen these words. Serving, serving, serving. How did Jesus serve? How am I serving like Jesus?” I wondered.

I still don’t have an answer–which in and of itself is not a good thing. Who have I served? If I proclaim Jesus as my Lord and Savior and give my life to Him, knowing that my number one goal is to be more like Him in my words and actions, how have I served like Him today?

One little moment–20 seconds at most.

One simple act–checking my email.

One profound question that I will think about the rest of the day and strive to live out the rest of my life.

 

Friday

Work is finished

I’ve driven home

Three hours through rain and St. Louis traffic

Home to my boys

Home to my dogs

Together again

Until Sunday.

Time to savor being home.

Couldn’t Stop

Last night

I couldn’t

stop

reading.

I knew

I needed to stop.

But,

I couldn’t.

Just

One

More

Page.

I thought.

Finally,

I finished the book.

Finally,

I stopped.

All day long,

I was sleepy.

No

reading

tonight!

Getting Wise

My job requires me to put a lot of miles on my car. In the past two days, I have put 480 miles on my car. I depend on my car to get me where I need to go, and I don’t want to be stranded on the side of the road in the dark morning hours by myself with a broken down car. It had been awhile since I had my car to the dealer for an oil change–I have taken to oil change places for the last four changes– so I made an appointment to take it to the dealer.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Baker. It is nice to see you back again. I’m Chris. I will be taking care of you today. Let’s get you checked in.” As he says all of this, he begins to enter my car’s serial number into his computer.

“Ms. Baker, it looks like you are overdue for some services on your vehicle to keep it running in top shape. Not only do you need an oil change, but according to our records, you need a transmission flush, a new air filter, an engine performance restoration, a fuel-air induction service, a brake fluid service, a coolant service, and a new fuel tank air filter. Would you like us to do those for you today as well?”

I can’t hear anything but cash register bells ringing up sales in my head. “Umm…no. I can’t do all of that today. That would cost a fortune! I want the oil change. Of all those things you just listed, which one is the most important?”

“Ma’am, they are all important. I understand about it being expensive. I just had to have all of this done to my own vehicle. It is expensive, but you want to keep your car running well. I do happen to have a coupon here for 15% off up to $100. We could use it to bring the cost down a bit. I know you like to take care of your car. I can see from your records that you make sure to have it serviced regularly.”

The cash register bells are still peeling away in my head. “I’m not doing them all. Which one is the MOST important?”

“Well, let’s see which one was done the longest time ago.”  He thumbs through my maintenance log I have put on the counter. I keep meticulous records of EVERYTHING that has been done to my car.  “Transmission flush was done the farthest back. Would you like to do that one.”

“Ok, that sounds good.”

About an hour later he comes to the waiting room and asks me to follow him back out to his desk and computer in the garage bay.

“Ma’am, are you aware you have two tires that need to be replaced and two tires that will need to be replaced soon after? I printed up some quotes for tires for you. We also would recommend an alignment with those new tires. I have these tires in stock. I could get them on your car for you right now while the guys are working on your car.”

There’s that cash register bell going off again. Except this time it sounds more liek a gong. “Uhhh… no. I don’t think so. I can’t buy tires today. I will add that to the list of things the car needs. But no, no new tires. Not today.”

Two hours later, I finally leave. One afternoon shot with the car. UGH!

I have been thinking about all the things he recommended since I heard the list. This afternoon, I decided to look up when Hyundai actually recommends those procedures be done in my handy dandy little maintenance log. Guess what! Hyundai doesn’t actually recommend those procedures be done to my car! Those procedures are recommended for inspecting, but NOT replacing! Just to be safe, I googled each of the terms and read what different mechanics said about each of the procedures. Most mechanics agreed that those procedures are a waste of money. I must have “SUCKER” written on my forehead. Well, this “sucker” just got wise. I will NOT be taking my car back to the “cheater dealers”!

Moments

I’m trying to think of a moment.

A moment worthy of a slice.

There were lots of little moments today.

Days are filled with a kaleidoscope of moments.

Some moments are so sparkly, shiny you want to hold them up for everyone to admire.

Some moments are darker and you have to look closely to see the way the colors swirl together in layers blending in and out of one another to find the beauty.

Some moments are clear, transparent and you wonder if they were real at all or if your mind is playing tricks on you and they didn’t really even happen.

Some moments are sharp and threatening. They cause deep damage if not handled carefully.

Some moments are soft, gentle, butterfly kiss moments. They are the moments that nurture your soul and linger with you. These are the moments you take out and hold again, admiring them from all sides, soaking up their sweetness when you need an affirmation.

So many moments.

Tonight I can’t choose just one.

What kind of moments did you have today?

 

 

Birthday Boy

Birthday breakfast: muffins

Birthday dinner: pot roast, mashed potatoes, cooked carrots, corn, rolls

Birthday cake: chocolate chip

Birthday ice cream: chocolate chip

Birthday presents: Google Play card and a framed mosaic picture of coaching baseball last year

Celebrating my true love’s birthday: priceless

Emotions

Today…

Emotions swirling up and down.

Joy this morning seeing my son doing what he was made to do, and his passion for using his musical talent for God.

Sorrow watching a family very dear to my heart celebrate the life of their beautiful daughter.

Pride for my son in choosing to put his own comfort level beneath that of supporting his friend.

Swirling emotions up and down.

 

 

Good Day

I served kids lunch with friends for youth weekend.

I had a nap.

I set up a new dog fence so my little escape artist will stop getting out.

I went on a date.

We had the house to ourselves this evening.

Rosie slept in my lap while I watched tv.

There was ice cream.

My boys came home with stories to tell.

It was a good day indeed!

The Conference

Two weeks ago, I taught a mini lesson to some first grade writers…

“Today I want to teach you that writer’s don’t just tell readers their opinion right away. Writers say “hello” to the reader first. Writers can say “hello” by asking a question or using sound words.”

Earlier this week, I was back coaching writing conferences in the same room.

The teacher, the writer and I are gathered around the table. The teacher has her conferring notebook, the student has her book with just her title-My School- and I have my iPad.

“Tell me about your writing, ” asks the teacher.

“I’m writing about my school,” she whispers back, eyes downcast.

“What kind of book are you making? Will this be an opinion book where you tell us how you feel about a topic, an informational book where you teach us about a topic, or a narrative book where you tell us about a time? asked the teacher.

“An opinion.”

“Let’s work together to make a plan for your book. Here’s your first page. What will you put on this page?” the teacher asks as she turns to the first page in the book.

“My opinion.”

“What is your opinion?”

“I like school.”

“That sounds like a strong opinion. Is that all you will put on this page?” asked the teacher.

“I could say, “hello” she offers, her head turning slightly toward me. A smile peeks out at me.

“How will you choose to say, “hello”? asked the teacher.

She peeks over to me again. This time a bit braver, showing more of her face. “I could use sound words.” The smile is a bit bigger this time.

“What sound words could you use?”

“Yay, yay, yay!” she supplies with a full on look at me. Her eyes sparkle. She knows she has just made my day!