Posture

Our pastor is in the middle of a series about miracles. Tonight, he posed some interesting questions that got me thinking. He mentioned that many of us have our own miracle stories to share. I have a miracle story of my own, but that is for another post. The question he posed tonight is, “We know God is in the miracle business.  He is still doing them.  They are not a thing of the past.  But what about when He chooses not to do a miracle in your situation?  Why?  What then?”  He listed several lessons he has learned in his life about God and His work in different situations.  The lesson that hit home to me was “Posture”.

Back in 2008, my husband found himself no longer employed through no fault of his own.  We had two young sons, two cars, a mortgage, numerous bills, tuition payments, and we were down to one income.  It was November.  A month before Christmas. Christmas passed, and January rolled around.  Things became harder.  I constantly questioned God, “Why are we in this situation?  When are You going to do something about it?”

January turned to February, February to March, March to April. Still nothing. I knew God could solve this problem easily. Interviews came and went.  Jobs looked promising, and then they faded away like the morning dew. The “right” position remained elusive. I remember pleading, “Why?  If You would just show me why, I would accept.”

May.

June.

July.

School started.  Still no job.

During these months, I started to realize what God was doing, instead of what God wasn’t doing.  We were somehow making ends meet.  Bills were paid.  We had food on the table. My boys had clothes that fit their growing bodies. And my husband and I were starting to rely on God, more than ourselves. It seemed that it took us “losing” what we thought mattered most to realize where we were.  God was holding us ever so close to Him, helping us realize where every good and perfect gift comes from.  Helping us to learn that all things work together for the good of those who love Him. He was waiting for us to adopt the right posture.  As soon as I stopped gripping everything in sight, opened my hands to Him and His perfect will, bending my knees to His sovereignty, things started to change in my heart.

In October, my husband had an interview that seemed totally out of his element.  But he went.  A month later, one year after he lost his job, he started as the director for the newly created Missouri Food Bank Association.

In his first years, he wrote a grant that brought $12 million in food to our state.  Scott and I smile at that.  We know who brought that money to this state.

Now I can look at this time and realize what God was doing.  Then, I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. Now I can truly sing,

I’m living my life for you,

I’m giving everything to You.

No holding back, but every part

I’m giving it all to you.