It is just past 2:00 pm and I am sitting at the kitchen table. Max and I have just returned from buying more things for his car. I am tired. I am a tad frustrated. I missed lunch. In front of me sits a box of Dunkin Donuts, purchased fresh that morning. I only had one that morning. I hear the donuts calling out to me from inside the box. I reach into the box and pull out the chocolate cake donut that was calling to me. His voice was rising above the others.
The first half seems to disappear in moments. The other half is calling out to me from the box, wanting to join his other half in my stomach. I reach back into the box to retrieve it. As I take a bite, Sam walks by and sees me. He surveys the scene. His eyes miss nothing. I don’t make eye contact. I focus on the donut.
He looks at me and asks, “Mom, are you stress eating?”
His voice is filled with disappointment. The kind of disappointment we put in our voice when we catch children misbehaving or dogs chewing up paper on the floor. And if that wasn’t enough, his eyes narrow and give me “the look”. You know “the look”. It is the look teachers have and use on students all the time when they are making unwise choices and we know they know better. It is the look I have used on Sam many a time and he has seen me use on others. It is the look that makes people remorseful and regret their choices.
Sam sighs and reaches over for the Dunkin Donuts box. He lifts it off the table and carries it to the kitchen counter behind me, removing it from my view. His job finished, he grabs his glove and heads outside to the pitch back leaving me to wonder, how did our roles get reversed?